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Hey there!
You’re reading I Choose — a newsletter about choosing and living a little differently. Every issue brings stories and articles that explore how Choice, Free Will and Self-Determinism makes us live happier and more fulfilled lives…Let’s dive in.
— Luxnor, Author of I Choose.
If you’ve ever been around philosophy buffs or are yourself interested in philosophy, chances are you’ve heard of the word determinism. It’s the kind of word that gets thrown around without anyone really knowing what it really means, but hey, it sounds cool.
The self-determinism we are going to refer to in this article is different from the philosophical understanding of determinism. Indeed, philosophy refers to determinism in terms of free will and freedom, whether we really are free to make choices that emanate out of true free will or not.
The self-determination I refer to is as seen through the lens of self-determination theory. Self-Determination Theory (SDT) is an empirically-based theory asserting that human motivation, development, and well-being are fundamentally driven by three innate psychological needs: autonomy, competence, and relatedness.
What does it mean concretely ? It means people are more motivated, are happier and more satisfied when they feel like their own choices emanate from their own volition, that their actions are freely chosen and self-endorsed, rather than controlled by external pressures or internal demands : That’s autonomy.
Competence refers to the need to feel effective and capable in your interactions with the environment. It's about experiencing opportunities to exercise your skills and capacities, leading to feelings of mastery and efficacy.
The need to feel connected to others, to care for and be cared for by significant people in your life is called . It involves a sense of belonging, intimacy, and feeling close to others relatedness.
According to self-determination theory, satisfaction of these three basic needs fosters intrinsic motivation, integrated self-regulation, creativity, and overall psychological wellness
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But how can we know when we are living according to self-determination and when we’re stuck in non-self-determinism ? It’s what I call the ‘ I have to’ vs ‘ I choose to’ framework.
According to Self-Determination Theory (SDT), the distinction between self-determination and non-self-determination depends on how an action is perceived by the individual. Either as volitional and self-endorsed (autonomous motivation, or what I call the ‘I choose to’ mindset), versus compelled or pressured (controlled motivation, or what I call the ‘I have to’ mindset).
Examples of Self-Determination (‘I choose to’ mindset):
Learning: A student dedicates themselves to studying a challenging subject because they genuinely find it interesting and valuable for their future, feeling it aligns with their personal growth and intellectual curiosity.
Work: An employee takes on extra responsibilities for a project because they believe in its mission, find the work engaging, and feel it expresses their skills and values, even if it's demanding.
Lifestyle: An individual consistently exercises because they enjoy the activity, value their health, and feel energized by it, seeing it as an expression of their personal commitment to well-being.
Examples of Non-Self-Determination (‘I have to’ mindset):
Learning: A student only studies intensely for an exam because they fear their parents' punishment for a bad grade (external regulation) or because they feel guilty about not living up to societal expectations (introjection).
Work: An employee works overtime solely to avoid their manager's disapproval or to secure a performance-contingent bonus, without any inherent interest or value in the task itself.
Lifestyle: An individual follows a strict diet purely out of shame about their body image or due to constant external pressure from a social group, rather than an authentic desire for health and well-being.
In essence, self-determined actions are those you "choose," endorse, and feel responsible for, while non-self-determined actions feel forced, alien, or imposed or fall under the framework of ‘ I have to’ as opposed to ‘ I choose to’.
So how can SDT helps us live happier lives ? By becoming aware of all the areas of our lives where we let the ‘ I have to’ script take over our autonomy and switching our mindset to an ‘ I choose to’. When we adopt an "'I choose to'" framework and mindset, we engage with our core psychological need for autonomy. This perspective fosters a sense of volition and self-endorsement, meaning you perceive your actions as freely chosen and aligned with your values. With the ‘I choose to’ mindset, you boost your motivation and your sense of control over your own life. It leads to greater effort, better task performance, increased perceived competence, and overall psychological health, adjustment, and vitality.
So give it a try, you might enjoy saying ‘ I choose to’ more than you ever enjoyed saying ‘ I have to’.
Overview
So a quick summary of everything mentioned above:
Self-Determination Theory (SDT) is an empirically-based theory asserting that human motivation, development, and well-being are fundamentally driven by three innate psychological needs: autonomy, competence, and relatedness
self-determined actions are those you "choose," endorse, and feel responsible for, while non-self-determined actions feel forced, alien, or imposed or fall under the framework of ‘ I have to’ as opposed to ‘ I choose to’.
Switching to an ‘I choose to’ mindset means you perceive your actions as freely chosen and aligned with your values. With the ‘I choose to’ mindset, you boost your motivation and your sense of internal control, leading to greater effort, better task performance, increased perceived competence, and overall psychological health, adjustment, and vitality.
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